Hope?; 2011

“Forever ago” will be today, one day…
this is a statement of hope.

But time is a slow healer
and wounds are overtaking my healthy mind.

—
Punk rock music pouring itself in my ears is just feeding to my already disturbed thoughts

I wish such nonsense…just made sense…

I also wish I wasn’t crying in a coffee shop.
I wish I liked tea.
I wish I liked wine.
I wish I knew what was good for me.

Pain & Pleasure; 2010

I take my hurt one day at a time.
One ache at a time.
One sting at a time-
to bear later days.

But I welcome happiness in spoonfuls. Bucket Loads.
As much as my heart can possibly take.
Overflow is okay.

However, life does not give us our recommended dosage of either.

At times- infinite hurt pours in and we need both hands to cover our face,
and not for shame..
but because immature hiding seems more practical these days.

While the happiness comes in fleeting poofs of smoke-
leaving as soon as it comes…
Odorless, and a memory I can all but grasp.

My sky is cloudless
and the sun is beaming rays of utterly detestable heat that burns by just thought of it.

All in all,
To conclude,
In conclusion,
To FINALize,

All comes, all goes
Some stay, some leave
What remains is – confusion-
followed by moments of enlightenment
with further confusion.

And I dance on daisy fields, happily expecting a prickly weed or two.
Such pain is worth such delight.

Letting the Heart Lead; 2010

The happiness penetrated the scene.

It led my eyes to the rainbow sitting high.

Consumed me, feet first, and stopped at my heart-

it knew my mind wouldn’t agree.

The reality, was not real at all.

Dreams are fleeting.

Reality takes nothing into account.

The thought is flawed.

Momentum is ever the risk.

Drained; 2008

Restless, running on empty

Mindless, thinking quietly

Spineless, crying softly

Hopeless, falling short

All will pass, I tell myself.

All will pass? I ask myself.

How painful the ticks of the clock.

How slow the healing.

Tears don’t dry fast enough..

New worries sit on old mistakes..

Tired and drained.

Change, find me.

Happiness, find me.

I wrongly defined it and I wish I hadn’t.

Happiness is a seldomly available drug.

Falling Gracefully; 2009

To fall on luxury’s lap

is to fall in devil’s stew.

It is to fall in morning dews

and night’s mistakes.

Where do we fall gracefully?

Where do we sit in peace

without looking out a window

with blurred despairs

and smudged hate.

Such plagues-

all man-made

and all but a pathetic attempt

for an unobtainable superiority.

And while the cure is a distance away…

Perhaps even out of reach.

Confusion has learned to

invade our minds,

change our hearts,

abandon our instincts.

No one knows what side they’re on…

Worse…

No one knows the dividing lines.

Either way..

We live to insanely cope with our

indecent exposures and our innocent keepsakes.

Mistakes; 2009

Spotless minds feed off weaker times.

It’s when you fall and trip on your own insecurities.

It takes a 10-year walk to walk off a 10-minute mishap.

Takes longer to fix

than to screw the nail of error.

It is courage that brings you to state any flaw

and it takes heart and human vulnerability to change,

to pick up the pieces and start anew…

though its nothing new.

It is the retelling of a later story.

When you take away the bitterness of everyday life

and let it fade into a memorable oblivion.