Same to Different

Out of the same eyes, I am suppose to start seeing things differently…
Out of the same heart, I am suppose to start feeling differently about people…
Out of the same mind, I am suppose to start thinking differently about everything…

I guess you hope all that would evolve.
For clarity to come in
For love to come in
For wisdom to come in
..and help form the shapeless mess you have bottled inside.
Help make sense of the past to help you walk a lit path to tomorrow.

Fields; 2011

Memories have weights-
some lie heavy on your mind.
Usually those sting.
Some are weightless,
they flutter,
they fly,
they move around.
Usually those make you smile.

I guess the host of such-
is in a journey,
a main character in their story,
a background character in another’s,
a bee in a hive,
a bird in the sky,
or a flower in a field.

I think, today…I want to be the flower
and I want my happy memories to carry me in the wind.

Hope?; 2011

“Forever ago” will be today, one day…
this is a statement of hope.

But time is a slow healer
and wounds are overtaking my healthy mind.

—
Punk rock music pouring itself in my ears is just feeding to my already disturbed thoughts

I wish such nonsense…just made sense…

I also wish I wasn’t crying in a coffee shop.
I wish I liked tea.
I wish I liked wine.
I wish I knew what was good for me.

Pain & Pleasure; 2010

I take my hurt one day at a time.
One ache at a time.
One sting at a time-
to bear later days.

But I welcome happiness in spoonfuls. Bucket Loads.
As much as my heart can possibly take.
Overflow is okay.

However, life does not give us our recommended dosage of either.

At times- infinite hurt pours in and we need both hands to cover our face,
and not for shame..
but because immature hiding seems more practical these days.

While the happiness comes in fleeting poofs of smoke-
leaving as soon as it comes…
Odorless, and a memory I can all but grasp.

My sky is cloudless
and the sun is beaming rays of utterly detestable heat that burns by just thought of it.

All in all,
To conclude,
In conclusion,
To FINALize,

All comes, all goes
Some stay, some leave
What remains is – confusion-
followed by moments of enlightenment
with further confusion.

And I dance on daisy fields, happily expecting a prickly weed or two.
Such pain is worth such delight.

Dirt; 2009

Understated hurt, reaches surface in due time,

with further sting,

and further ticks for healing.

“Is it always this hard?” – They ask.

“Harder” – My reply.

Life can’t be gentle.

Don’t want it to be,

Rough waves build character.

All everlasting and admirable qualities form.

When life is “good” – much of those fruits fade.

Beautiful. More lovely of a world, I don’t know exists.

We are the dirt of this earth.

Let all fault fall on that truth.

The Redeemer wipes us clean

My Ode to “Lost”

My Ode to “Lost” (by Coldplay)

I guess “complexity” doesn’t begin to explain it.

I guess the growing flame is not enough to burn the house, enough to cause a scene.

Flickering is not instability.

“Lost” is not forever.

And I find peace in this.

Waves turn, up close. Roar even.

Yet are still from afar.

All falls into its purpose.

We are not chained forcefully, forever.

To be free – can be free

We give prices to everything.

The gun is in our hands.

Bullets are in our minds.

“Just because I’m losing doesn’t mean I’m lost”

Falling Gracefully; 2009

To fall on luxury’s lap

is to fall in devil’s stew.

It is to fall in morning dews

and night’s mistakes.

Where do we fall gracefully?

Where do we sit in peace

without looking out a window

with blurred despairs

and smudged hate.

Such plagues-

all man-made

and all but a pathetic attempt

for an unobtainable superiority.

And while the cure is a distance away…

Perhaps even out of reach.

Confusion has learned to

invade our minds,

change our hearts,

abandon our instincts.

No one knows what side they’re on…

Worse…

No one knows the dividing lines.

Either way..

We live to insanely cope with our

indecent exposures and our innocent keepsakes.

Mistakes; 2009

Spotless minds feed off weaker times.

It’s when you fall and trip on your own insecurities.

It takes a 10-year walk to walk off a 10-minute mishap.

Takes longer to fix

than to screw the nail of error.

It is courage that brings you to state any flaw

and it takes heart and human vulnerability to change,

to pick up the pieces and start anew…

though its nothing new.

It is the retelling of a later story.

When you take away the bitterness of everyday life

and let it fade into a memorable oblivion.

Awake; 2009

Awake.

Open to morning’s uncertainty

and basking in the night’s wit.

I sit thoughtless

with pen in hand

and mind on a late train-

it’s looking for answers

and roaming to untold fantasies.

But the night is young,

but younger are its stars…

Its moon…

and all with light.

It’s the empty skies, the dark shadows

and the vastness of its nothingness

that makes you age, that makes you

wonder

why? and how?

and

Why the how?

There are untold beauties hiding beneath rocks we never care to look under,

There is this penetrating happiness exuding from such filth.

It’s this hapiness that comes from the simplicity of a seemingly uneventful day.

It’s that smile you give to someone.

It’s that random act of kindness.

It’s that habit you dropped.

It’s the person you finally forgave.

It’s your life that you are finally living.

There is an awakeness you gain from young nights

that are all but young.

They are somewhat unforgiving

and thought provoking.

Experience tends to add on years to your age.

So why not just live older, die younger…

and find yourself somewhere in between.

Try to ignore the lifeless trends and the monotony that accompaniesa shallow society we call home.

To escape such routine, is not to be free…but to merely live.